


Juno Steel and the Oh Shit I'm Nonbinary Huh

by CertifiedPissWizard



Category: The Penumbra Podcast
Genre: Gen, Like, M/M, Pre Season 3, and i didnt want to, and thats valid, as a treat, gender fic time, how you want to present genderwise, im trans i can write many gender fic, juno and vespa are frenemies, onto juno steel, project your trying to figure out, recovery arc babey, references to juno steels hella trauma, sarah steel is mentioned and we hate her in this house, some misgendering references but those people died :), sometimes you just, there is a bare minimum of dialogue because im gay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-03
Updated: 2020-11-03
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:20:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27375601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CertifiedPissWizard/pseuds/CertifiedPissWizard
Summary: Of course, after the whole time working for Vicky, Juno ended up doing the PI thing full time. He’d made acquaintances, though, that kept him in work an awful lot. At some point people who weren’t calling him a lady before started doing it an awful lot, along with a few madame Steel’s thrown in them for flavor. Rita looked smug, and when he mentioned it at one of the ladies’ stream nights where she showed up Vicky looked smug as hell, too. She cracked her fists. Juno had the good sense to just ask her to paint his nails with the sparkly gold nail polish instead of any more questions on that topic.
Relationships: Buddy Aurinko & Juno Steel, Buddy Aurinko/Vespa Ilkay, Juno Steel & Valles Vicky, Rita & Juno Steel, Vespa Ilkay & Juno Steel
Comments: 5
Kudos: 67





	Juno Steel and the Oh Shit I'm Nonbinary Huh

Juno hadn’t known for a long time what exactly his deal was. Benzaiten had known he was trans first, and then Juno tried out being Benten’s brother. It fit better than sister and she/her but it still felt like an ill fitting pair of shoes. Tight and still workable. Juno was Benzaiten’s brother, then. Highschool came and went, and then Juno joined the HCPD, and then Juno was nobody’s brother. He was Diamond’s fiancé and then he wasn’t, because he left. He left. They got back together eventually, got engaged again, Juno had a wedding dress, was closer and- Diamond left that time. Rita tried to comfort him, but Juno’d seen it coming. Sarah called him a little monster, acted like he was poison, and he feels her in his hands when he feels that rage, hears her in his voice when he lashes out. He’s her child.

Rita invites him to a ladies’ night, “Even though you aren’t a lady, Mistah Steel,” and Juno says he isn’t sure about that. Rita starts comparing it to one of her streams. It’s one of the few good days during that time out of the HCPD and working with Vicky. Honestly, he never could shake the feeling that Rita said something to Vicky, because all of a sudden Vicky was throwing away dresses and skirts in Juno’s size saying they didn’t fit right, even though she wasn’t near his size. 

“No charge, Juno.” She got offended when he said- she was a friend at some point, and she was offended at the idea of him paying her back for her ‘cast offs’. His debt got paid off, and he couldn’t help but wonder how much of it was Rita and how much was Vicky talking shit with him about gender. Apparently, it was a bunch of outdated bullshit that would fail a performance review. Juno snickered.

Of course, after the whole time working for Vicky, Juno ended up doing the PI thing full time. He’d made acquaintances, though, that kept him in work an awful lot. At some point people who weren’t calling him a lady before started doing it an awful lot, along with a few madame Steel’s thrown in them for flavor. Rita looked smug, and when he mentioned it at one of the ladies’ stream nights where she showed up Vicky looked smug as hell, too. She cracked her fists. Juno had the good sense to just ask her to paint his nails with the sparkly gold nail polish instead of any more questions on that topic.

He deals with the Kanagawas a regrettable amount and does jobs for Vicky a regrettable amount- but unlike the Kanagawas Vicky’s a friend he can trust. He very firmly doesn’t mention or think about the nicer things she’d done for him. He doesn’t want to ruin her not at all upstanding reputation, after all. 

He’s not great. He’s better, though. Then Sarah dies in prison and Juno has a new relationship that goes bad and they- 

They disappeared. Juno didn’t question it. Sometimes, a lady doesn’t need to know everything, and he couldn’t help but get the feeling that this was one of those times. Juno goes back to brushing the dust off and standing up and he isn’t alone. 

Time passes and Juno settles into himself and wears whatever the fuck he wants as long as it matches his coat, because he absolutely refuses to change his signature fashion item. 

Glass is, perhaps, the first time in years that Juno wishes he’d dolled himself up a bit more instead of his usual. Something about the man, and those teeth, and that suavity. Of course, Glass says embarrassing shit about wanting to get to know Juno- and Juno knows it’s fake because who would want to. 

Glass is Nureyev, and he swings out on a goddamn moonbeam leaving behind cologne, a note, and a feeling of a kiss on his lips. No more pretty faces, he tells himself. Then he’s working with Nureyev again- ends up wearing a suit exactly his style, covered in dahlias, matching Juno’s brand-new alias. Duke drips all over Dahlia. If it wasn’t a part being played- the outfit, the alias, well, a lady could be flattered. As it was, he had a mind reading pill he couldn’t control, and then he was part of a train robbery, and then Miasma.  
Then he walks out. Nureyev would have ended up doing it eventually. Juno’s just like that. He doesn’t know why Rita and Vicky are still around, and Vicky’s only been barely around since her marriage. Eventually Juno would be too much, or he’d get called a gentleman or some shit and- Nureyev probably wouldn’t do that on purpose. But Juno is poison.

Ramses acts. He acts overly friendly, and he keeps acting like he knows Juno. He forgets, sometimes. That Juno’s a lady. Not a man or a gentleman. Juno puts up with it because Ramses wants to do good and that’s worth a little discomfort. 

Then the Cerberus province, and Pilot, and all of that. Buddy flirts a bit, and it’s funny, and Juno feels more settled in his desire to live at least another day, and it’s just a lot awfully quick. Especially given the having to recover from eye removal two electric boogaloo. And he thinks that it wasn’t.

On the plus side his brand-new sweater that he stole from Vespa, a loose thing with a floral pattern, is comfortable and looks great on him. Buddy stops Vespa from stabbing him in response. She doesn’t stop Vespa from stealing the flowy skirt Juno got his hands on. Juno steals a pair of booty-shorts in revenge, and she steals his shoes, and Buddy intercedes a lot in the clothing war. Then Juno is better enough to go back to Hyperion, and he grabs his coat and stolen clothes, and Buddy walks him through doing some of the eye makeup that she does.

“Sometimes, darling, the best one can do to get ready to do a hard thing is to look absolutely fantastic. A little bit of flair can lend a little bit of courage.” Vespa says she’ll be glad to see him go. She throws a knife sheath at him. He says fuck you too. Then he and Jet leave back to Hyperion, and Juno looks like himself. He apologizes to Rita. He confronts the face that looks at him through the mirror and thinks that it’s a face that isn’t Sarah Steel’s, so far from hers, and it’s a face that isn’t Benzaiten’s. That’s a good thing.

Juno looks like himself. He figures out who he is without shit like the THEIA or moping or- Vicky pays for his therapy. He tried to talk her out of it, but Rita said something and-

Vicky asks about the eye makeup, and Juno puts it on her. He also says thanks. It’s been a long time coming, but maybe, he thinks, maybe he’s finally gotten a handle on his gender at the very least. She laughs at that, and she says once again that if gender was an employee it would fail its annual performance review. Juno says he’d fire it straight off. The world looks bright, and the uncertainty in the future isn’t half as scary. He has friends, and has himself, and knows himself, and when things start to feel a bit too much, a bit too scary, he wears that gender euphoria inducing outfit that he wore when coming back to Hyperion after. So much bullshit. He puts on some fancy eye makeup that he taught himself from a video he pulled up on his comms himself. He throws on a little bit of flair, and he grabs what courage he can from it.

The next time he sees Nureyev, Juno is looking into the great unknown, and feels terrified. He throws on a whole lot of flair. Rita compliments his makeup, which is high praise since he’s pretty sure the channel he learned how to do that specific thing on was hers. 

“Hello, Juno.”

Juno steps forwards, Rita at his side, Jet nearby, and whatever happens next he won’t be alone. He won’t go into it unsure of who he is. And, most importantly, he’s going to feel goddamn comfortable in his skin when it happens.


End file.
